One little talked about aspect of abusive relationships is that the abusers can still ruin the victim’s life, well after the divorce. It is a myth that once the divorce is finalized, the dark days are over. This is why it is so important to go into the divorce process prepared and with open eyes, especially if you have children.
Now that you are looking to exit, once they know, they will freeze whatever access you have to those accounts. This is specifically designed to force destitution to make leaving financially impossible.
The next step in making leaving impossible or to force you back into their arms is collapsing your credit. This is done by taking out multiple credit cards and large or many small loans. This will have the effect of immediately dropping your credit score based on the number of new credit accounts, credit utilization, credit inquires, etc. Their goal is to make finding a new place, whether a home or an apartment, not feasible. But, it can also affect your ability to get a job or open up Danville, Virginia, credit accounts.
Isolation and gaslighting
After attempting to destroy you financially, they will also try to isolate you from your friends and family, and gaslight you into thinking you did something wrong. They may take over your social media accounts, clone your phone, spread rumors and generally speak ill of you with the intent of turning those around you against you. Again, the goal is to make them your abuser your only source of solace.
Children as pawns
Even if your ex was a wonderful parent, you may notice that after the divorce, the child becomes a pawn to abuse you. This can be done in several ways. First, they can become flaky with the child custody schedule, which makes planning your life difficult. Next, they will strategically “lose” your child’s belongings.
This may require you to pay for multiple backpacks, school supplies, winter clothing, etc. Then, they may even sign your kids up for expensive activities that they have no intention of ever paying for or splitting the costs. This is a double effort to make you look like the bad guy as you are the one saying the child cannot participate or cost you money as you cannot afford to not disappoint your child.
Have a plan
Of course, this is not an exhaustive list of things your Danville, Virginia, ex may attempt to continue their abuse. However, the key to avoiding or mitigating these efforts is planning for them prior to leaving. Talk with your lawyer and plan your escape.